Parents ask me all the time, what should I say….? It almost doesn’t matter what the subject is, this is always one of the primary questions.
So let me tell you a story about how to fail at this and then how to salvage it.
Over the Christmas holidays I was with my teenage grandchildren. My fourteen year old grandson and I were sitting next to each other as I wrote something on the computer. I said aloud, “You will have to learn some skills to prepare for the revolution.” I know the games he plays and I thought this might trigger him to think.
Instead, he looked at me as I kept working and asked very simply, “What revolution?”
And then I said one of the stupidest things I’ve ever said. “You’ll have to wait and see what it is when you grow up.”
“Okay, granny.” And he sat there a bit longer, then got up to play with his games.
Awful, huh? And I should know better. I teach when children ask the question they are ready for the answer.
Well, one blessing in life is that we can have another chance if we ask for it. So I thought, how do I get myself out of this mess? Because what I had actually done was shut down his willingness to approach me and ask any question at all…and I had raised the issue.
About an hour passed, and I was sitting down doing something else when he walked by me. I reached out, took his hand and held it. “Darlin,’ I owe you an apology.”
The boy stopped dead still and looked down at me, “What for, Granny?”
I stood up right next to him and looked him straight in the eye, “Because I said something really stupid when I said for you to wait until you grow up to understand about revolution. It was a dumb thing for me to say, and I’m sorry.” He just grinned at me, that wonderful bright smile!
Then I pulled him down to sit next to me…and shoulder to shoulder we talked. What I said was pretty simple, “There is a huge need for change in our world, and that will require your generation to become strong leaders. You will have to learn to listen to what everyone has to say; take a stand for what you know is right; protect those who cannot protect themselves. You are going to have to learn to care for all people and find ways to make that happen. And I already see you having some of those skills, you listen, you love children, and you will have to learn to lead your friends and others to do good things. This is what I see you needing to learn to do.”
“But what’s the revolution going to be about, Granny?” And I laughed. “Well, I can tell you when I was young it was anti-war, civil rights, equal rights for women…so I’m pretty sure those are still around. There may be more. Look at your social studies classes….what political, environmental, global issues are you all discussing?”
And we talked, he showed me Youtube things that are important to him. The important point is, we talked and listened to each other.
I didn’t know then but now looking back in light of the Parkland shootings, I’m glad I salvaged that situation…and he knows I want him to be as strong as those young adults. We should all want that for all of our kids…they will lead us into the revolution.
